Sunday, September 23, 2012

Gay Boys in Costa Rica- Kissing Badly

Gay boys in Costa Rica, La Fortuna particularly, are frequently guilty of kissing as if they’re a MUTANT combination of half vacuum cleaner - half Labrador Retriever. This is NOT a GOOD thing for someone like me who LOVES to make-out. Obviously, I’m only going from my own EXPERIENCE (although D'Angelo concurs), but take my word; I have accumulated plenty of data in the last 6 or so years of living in Costa Rica to come to this ‘bad kissers’ conclusion.

The reasons for this lack of kissing skills? Here, many gays are still in the CLOSET and don't get OUT much, so when a gay opportunity presents itself, gay Tico's tend to get OVERLY excited, VERY quickly. Picture a DOG in 90 degree heat that hasn’t had water all day; its BIG, FAT, SLOPPY tongue dragging on the floor, well, my LIPS apparently look like a dish of water. EWH!

Other times I feel like I’m being ‘SLIMED’ or they’re testing my gag reflex with their tongue,,,, which of course we all know is WAY HOT!

SLOW the down for God sake.

Not much is better than making OUT, leaned against the wall, pressed against each other, shirts off, nibble here, bite there, and the NECK- don’t even get me started, BUT,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the moment is often ruined with the puppy dog approach of making-out and for me, can be a DEAL breaker.

I’m all for getting horned up while making out, I get as excited as the next gay guy- the anticipation of SEX is a HOT thing. But BAD kissing can be quiet the BUZZ kill. If this is how they kiss, what’s this Human Vacuum Cleaner/Labrador Retriever going to do when they work their way SOUTH. Bad kissers are 10 times more likely to do other 'heady' acts just as bad, if you know what I mean- another BUZZ kill.

Obviously, inexperience plays a major role and I’m sure many of these guys haven’t had much practice. I’m thinking they have nothing to go by but cheap internet porn, so everything comes down to, ‘the harder the better’. Well maybe, but kissing.

So listen up my HOT tico friends, slow down, think SOFT and keep your tongue in your mouth and I promise you- we’ll get there. HARD comes later.

.... and I'm always lookin to be PROVED wrong. hehe

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